Monday, March 24, 2014


"I've been up and down and over and out...That's life, I tell you I can't deny it, I thought of quittin' baby, but my heart just ain't gonna buy it..."

Good news—it's spring!
I haven’t been around much in March for a number of reasons. I lost my brother and have been grieving and dealing with family things that come with that. Most of April is going to be shot as well. I’m very thankful to my co-host, Kat Sheridan, for handling the blog in March and she will be handling it in April as well. No A-Z for me. I doubt I’ll be around much the first part of the month. But Kat will be here. Do stop in and give her support. 
March 28th is an interview with USA and NYT bestselling author,Terry Spear, her research of wolves and jaguars and writing life.   

As some of you may know, the night after my brother, Jonny was admitted into ICU, I fell on the ice. My mind wasn't on my feet but miles away with my brother. I had a split second to react and tried to fall relaxed and do a tuck and roll. Didn't work—the roll, that is. I hit hard on my left shoulder and bounced and skid a few feet across the ice and gravel of our drive.  This isn't the first time I've been injured—I've led a very active outdoor life and it comes with the territory. I can honestly say I can’t remember the last time I felt the magnitude of pain that had me fighting a blackout. I knew not to move until the initial tsunami of pain eases enough to evaluate your body. That also means breathing, once you find your breath, and making your body relax. Easier said than done. 

First scan of my body: I couldn't feel my left arm but I could feel the volcano of pain in my shoulder, ye gads. Deep breath. Still didn't move, second scan, legs moved okay, right arm was fine, head was sore where I hit it, neck stiff but seemed fine. I carefully rolled on my right side and pushing left arm up to lie full length against my side. Hot July fireworks flashed, but it took the pressure off of the arm. Rested and relaxed a minute and then felt along the arm for any obvious problems. By now I could move the fingers, wrist, and forearm. The left shoulder, however, had a bulge and felt weird shaped. Yep, the bulge said I dislocated my shoulder. I massaged and then shoved it and the fact that my right elbow slipped on the ice adding the needed pressure was dumb luck. I felt it slide and saw a lovely rainbow of polka dots and fireworks dance across my vision.

It was dark, cold, and I was lying about 50 feet from the house, on ice. Even had I been inclined I didn't have the breath to yell. My husband had fallen asleep in his recliner (he wouldn't have heard me anyway) and my son wasn't home, which why I went outside to get my Dane. Fall had nothing to do with anything she did. My mind was elsewhere.

Getting up was a bear. When you’re in a situation like that you feel helpless and then you put it away and figure things out. Thirty minutes later I walked back into the house.

I went to the emergency room the next morning. Concussion (but I knew that already), but the x-rays showed no breaks. Lot of swelling, definitely blunt force trauma and bruising and they sent me home with a sling, orders don’t use the arm and make an appointment with your doctor for an MRI. And some serious pain pills. Yay! 

MRI showed a wrecked shoulder. Torn rotator cuff, tears in ligaments, cartilage damage, and fluid build up, floating debris, and a fracture. What does this mean?

Surgery. Absolutely no way around it. And rest. Lots of it.

My surgery is March 27th. I’m totally out of commission the first couple of weeks of April. I have about 6 months of physical therapy to regain use of the arm, but I will regain at least 90% usage. Without surgery it will heal, eventually, but the shoulder would be unstable and I’d lose 50% usage or more of my arm. Not acceptable.

Ah well, in the words of one of my dad's favorite songs, "I pick myself up and get back in the race..." That's Life.