Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Yolanda Renée—A GLAMOROUS LIFE




I asked Sia what topic she wanted for this post and this is what she suggested:  
"Remember they don’t see us in our ratty jammies, torn jeans, growling and cursing at everything, or with no makeup, and our hair looking like a herd of horses ran through it. Thank God for that, right? They see you as your author pic shows you and the online personality you've developed.
 "To your readers you’re a glamorous author. Okay, quit laughing," she wrote.
 
I was laughing, because glamorous means exciting and desirable and my life is anything but exciting or desirable.

A framed picture from
Sia's office
I live in an old house in constant need of repair, go barefoot in the summer, and wear socks, sometimes several pairs, all winter. And yes, I write in my nightgown. Sometimes I'm so caught up in the process, it's afternoon when a knock at the door reminds me I'm half naked, still have bed head, and have forgotten to eat! Almost daily, I pick up socks from the living room floor, a discarded pair of jeans from a kitchen chair, and underwear from the most curious of places. My hubby has a habit of shedding clothes as soon as he walks in the door, and since I love him, I don't nag, at least not any more. He has to deal with my writing moods, and that's an even exchange for sure.

Just recently, I helped my son take an air conditioner out of his window and capture stinkbugs by the dozens as they sought the warmth of our house for shelter and hibernation. The word yuck, doesn't describe the chasing down of the little buggers or the smell if you accidentally touch them, and don't even consider smashing them. Their odor is almost worse than a skunks. We captured them in empty plastic bottles, where they suffocate in their own bouquet. Getting rid of stinkbugs is a horrid job and one that gives me the heebie-jeebies, simply because bugs are just so, so gross!

Does any of that sound exciting or desirable? Yet many folks see it all another way. I did too, once, after all authors are revered, not as much a rock stars or some movie stars (if you measure it by screaming hordes of fans) but they do appear as guests on television talk shows, act as consultants on movie shoots,  and the more successful ones have bank accounts in the millions. The pinnacle of success, money in the bank, and while it's a dream we all share, it's a vision few of us will achieve.

I'll bet the life of most writers is not far from mine. Therefore, while the life of a few of the most successful authors may be glamorous, most of us are just regular folk.


Although occasionally, something cool does happen, and it touches the ego, right where a writers ego needs to be touched. Just this week I handed a very nice lady my business card and a bookmark for my most recent release. I asked to speak to the manager, and told her about my book, and that I wanted to arrange a book signing. She gushed, and I do mean gush.

"Oh my gosh, you're an author. Really! It's so exciting to meet an author."

And I'm like, "It's so nice to meet someone who thinks so." I laughed, but it was.

At our favorite restaurant the other night, the cashier says to me. "Are you that book lady?"

So for me, in between scrubbing toilets, dusting, vacuuming, and laundry, I keep trying to convince folks that I've written a book they can't live without, therefore, while glamour would be nice, it's certainly not reality!

I'll know I've arrived the day I can hire someone else to do the mundane for me! I know, keep dreaming, but if all I get from my glamorous writing life is to be known as that book lady, I'll take it!

Well folks, that pretty much describes the glamorous life of this writer, what about you, what glamorous tale of success, or ego boost, can you share?


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         


BUY:  AMAZON, B&N, KOBO

MEMORIES OF MURDER

Decades ago, the seeds were planted...

Today, dark, fathomless eyes rake the image before him. One final task and the transformation is complete. Steady fingers screw intricately carved horns on each side of a stiff brow, and a gargoyle suitable for Notre Dame scowls from the smoky mirror in satisfaction. A jagged smile rips through his smooth, hairless face, and inked, reptilian scales caress his naked body. A laugh of hideous resonance emanates from his gut as the demons of hell welcome Lucifer into their fold. 

In a dungeon-like chamber, his Lilith awaits. The kidnapped daughter of a nun, groomed to fit the final piece in the complex puzzle for world domination. Will Lucifer marry his bride, on the summer solstice?

Only two things stand in his way. His greed... ...and Detective Steven Quaid.  
EXCERPT

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Yolanda Renée really wanted to be a drummer, or a racecar driver. Obviously she's neither, but they are on her bucket list, that, and owning her very own fire breathing dragon!

Renée claims to have always loved books, and that it was through books that she escaped and experienced all the things she'd only been able to dream about. Through the stories, the characters, and the places created by talented authors, such as Caroline Keene, Margaret Mitchell, and Stephen King. She now reads K J Larsen , Jennifer Hillier, Joanie McDonell, J D Robb, and well, pretty much everyone and anyone who gets their words in front of her! SHE LOVES BOOKS!

Renée says she's always been a writer, and that making things up gets her through the day - a crazy imagination is a good thing - right?

An adventurous spirit took Yolanda Renée to Alaska where she hiked the Brooks Range, traveled from Prudhoe Bay to Valdez, and learned to sleep under the midnight sun.

She claims her vivid imagination as a blessing, a habit, a hobby, a calling and sometimes a curse.

Renée now resides in Central Pennsylvania with her husband, two sons, and Boston terrier, Patches.

You can find Yolanda:



22 comments:

~Sia McKye~ said...

Renee--you crack me up. I never thought you'd quote that, lol! Btw, I hate the smell of Stinkbugs and for me, squishing spiders also have a nasty smell, especially granddaddy long legs. My family think I'm nuts over the whole spiders smell when squished but honestly, I smell them and it makes me gag. :(

A couple of years ago I was at RT and heard a squeal and it's Sia McKye! I'm thinking, what?Huh? I turned around and about 30 feet away were a authors I had met, online, through my blog. She had a few authors in tow and I got to meet them all. I handed out my business cards had a great conversation. Was pretty cool, actually. Yah, a stroke to the ego. lol!

Yolanda Renee said...

It's a funny quote, and so true. Glamor is so far from the truth for most of us, and yet once in a while something nice does happen. Thanks for having me back. Your writing prompts for guest posts are excellent!

Jhon Lockar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anne Gallagher said...

Such a relief to know I'm not the only one chasing stinkbugs or picking underwear from the living room floor. (My daughter has always hated wearing clothes.)

I was recently outed as a writer at my daughter's school. You would have thought I was a lion tamer. "OMG, you're a WRITER!"

I guess because I've always used a pen name, I keep my writing life separate from personal. But then someone found out at my daughter's school and it was this weird avalanche of "I can't believe you're a writer."

Which, I wonder if it means they CAN'T believe I'm a writer or they can't believe that I'M a writer. hmmmm.

Natalie Aguirre said...

Fun learning about Yolanda's days. I still work full time and squeeze in writing. So staying home and not getting dressed and just writing sounds fantastic.

Yolanda Renee said...

Love the way you phrased that Anne, does make you wonder sometimes. Sort of like when someone learns I write murder mysteries. YOU write about MURDER! LOL

Natalie, actually I'd love to come out with a new line of clothes just for the writer! Someday we'll have that discussion! LOL

Maurice Mitchell said...

I thought scorpions in my house were bad till I read this story. Yeesh! Great story Yolanda. Thanks for hosting her Sia!

Yolanda Renee said...

Maurice, I think you and your scorpions win! They bite, stink bugs just stink and creeep! LOL

Jo said...

Don't want stink bugs or scorpions thanks very much. I am so glad I live in Canada, we don't have either. Mind you I never saw anything like that in NC either.

I am not a writer, but I do know that most authors don't live glamorous lives and I also know of one author with 10 published novels who had a devil of a job to sell her current novel which I have read and is right up to standard with anything else she is written. It's a hard life unless you happen to be Jo Rowland.

Yolanda Renee said...

You're lucky Jo, no stink bugs! I feel lucky that I have no scorpions!

Writing is art - and very few artists of any kind lead glamorous lives, but it is funny the perceptions of non-writers.

Isis Rushdan said...

Loved this post. I think you summed it up nicely for many of us.

Stephen Tremp said...

Behind the scenes hahaha! Yeah, it can be a messy job, but someone has to do it. Where's Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs when you need him.

Yolanda Renee said...

Thanks Isis, it's all true! :)

Really Stephen, never even thought of Mike Rowe, but yeah, where was he! You get those stink bugs on your skin or clothes - it's hell to remove. A vinegar bath for sure! LOL

Beverly Fox said...

Oh, man= stink bugs are the worse! I helped my boyfriend clean out a pile (and I do mean a PILE) of them which had crawled into the space between his sliding screen door and sliding glass door (which he kept close in order to keep those nasty buggers out!) and died. The smell was so bad it triggered my upchuck reflex and made me gag- I had to run out of there to avoid projectile vomiting! Yeah, that's glamorous!

Anyways, congrats on being "that book lady". That's an accomplishment, for sure!

Tina said...

This was a very fun post! I've seen this book all over the place. Best of luck to you, Yolanda! And hi Sia!
Tina @ Life is Good

Julie Flanders said...

Oh my gosh, I had stinkbugs at my place and so did my mom and between the two of us we nearly went mad. They are such disgusting little pests!! But I'd take them over that spider in the bananas you shared LOL.

Here's to those special moments, I hope you have lots more. And I have a feeling you will. :D

Yolanda Renee said...

Beverly, I remember wanting to vomit as being one of my first responses when they first became a nuisance. Now, three years later I'm almost the expert! But yuck, who wants to be a stink bug hunter! LOL

Tina, thanks! I hope you get a chance to pick it up!

Julie, I'm sure you've had a few of those moments too! And don't get me started on spiders. I was so grossed out I had to share that. I told my husband NO MORE bananas. Their fattening anyway! LOL

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Catch me mowing the lawn on a summer day and I will shatter that image of glamorous!

klahanie said...

Greetings Sia and hey Yolanda,

I said I would drop by and ta da, here I am. Yay n'stuff.

One minute, Yolanda is being rescued from Lucifer's Lair, the next she is here. The double life of a humble celebrity. One moment, super cleaner and helper, the next, encountering a starstruck cashier.

Hey Yolanda, when you are even more famous, you can hire me to clean your house. Heck, I'm that starstruck, I'll work for free. Correction, I will pay you to allow me to work for you :)

Thanks Sia, for having the adorable and glamorous Yolanda over here at your lovely site.

Gary :)

Yolanda Renee said...

I can picture you now Alex, :)

Gary:
You're hired! Yeah, famous in my own mind maybe. You make me laugh Gary, thank you! LOL

Dani Harper said...

Thank you Yolanda for your candor and your humor. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. Today while I was writing, the mail lady honked her horn from the road --- I had to throw on a coat over my nightgown and run outside in my slippers to sign for a delivery. It wouldn't have been quite so bad if it wasn't 1 in the afternoon! Or if I'd combed my hair...

Yolanda Renee said...

Dani, so awesome to know I'm not the only one. I actually have to make myself get dressed for the treadmill, yup, I've even put tennis shoes on and while still in my nightgown got the walking out of the way - anxious to get back to writing and just simply not caring how completely stupid I look (my treadmill is in front of the window) or how 'lazy' I'd become! It's hopeless, and so not glamorous! LOL