IWSG: CONQUERING THE BITS AND PIECES

Rocking the neurotic writing world with Alex Cavanaugh and the Insecure Writing Support Group (you can check out the group and participants here) . First Wednesday of every month.

You know? I like puzzles.  I do.

I like finding the pieces and fitting them in and making a picture. It’s fun. I feel the same about creating a necklace out of a pile of multicolored beads and bits of metal pieces. It’s fun to create a pretty or even a funky design. I do the same with earrings. Bits and pieces can be fun to put into a whole and make it something else, something lovely.

Bits and pieces aren’t so much fun in editing. It’s the same premise. You have various

Victorian necklace and bracelet

pieces and it should be a matter of combining them into a whole picture. Adding bits of this and that to get a harmonious whole. Something with impact. A piece of work to take pride in.

Except…it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes the pieces develop teeth and attack you.

I wrote a trilogy back a few years ago. This was a story that stretched me. It was fun to let her rip and go for it. I challenged my writing chops for sure. Still, I was okay with it all. I knew it had good bones just as I knew it had a lot of stuff that wasn’t needed.

When I went to edit it, after the critiques, I had a path but I was new to this type of editing. It was a bit daunting but I knew I could do it and that it would be better for the hard work. There were parts of it that actually needed rewriting and that would mean changing chunks of the other two stories as well. So I took it apart. The chapters have been unstrung from the whole and even some of the chapters are in unstrung sections. It’s all in it’s own file. It has research files to compliment the design and some sparkly pieces to add impact.

So why is it still in pieces? Good question.

Cutting the extraneous wasn’t that hard. Trying to re-thread those chapters was overwhelming. I couldn’t understand why I was having such problems with clear thinking. I knew what I needed to do and it wasn’t like I was new to editing. But for some reason this project steamrolled me. Pancake flat. I had not a clue how to change that. The harder I tried the worse it became. I couldn’t understand why. It was seriously affecting my confidence and taking away the joy I’ve always felt creating and writing. Of course part of it was I was getting sick and I didn’t realize it. I was losing clarity of thought but didn’t know it at the time. I struggled on and made a mess of it. I looked at all the pieces of what had once been whole and cried over the devastating mess I had left. All those bits and pieces mocking me.

I put it away for a bit and wrote other things some good and some not. I was trying, and perhaps too hard, to recapture that flow and joy of writing. Concentration was becoming harder and my attention span shorter and there were days I swore gnats had a longer attention span. You know the thoughts that go through your mind at times like that. You’re a what? A writer? Queue maniacal derisive laughter. And no one does mocking quite as well as our inner critic.

That was a bit over two years ago. The past few months my creative mind has been sneaky and reworking things in that series again. I’ve even dreamed about it. It’s itching to tackle it. But, I still haven’t opened that file. 

Fear? Sure. A lot of not so great things happened during the initial editing phase of that series and are all tied into that file.

I’m smart enough to know you have to face your fears and that usually those fears are much bigger in our minds than in reality. I’ve fallen off horses, broken bones, and faced stupid and humiliation. There is a certain repulsion in facing that horse and all the possibilities of a repeat performance. But I also knew if I didn’t get back into the saddle I wouldn’t ride again. I can’t live that way. I’m not one to let fear of what if or possibility of pain hold me back. I’m not reckless but it’s a challenge I have to face and conquer even if I’m shaking in my boots. Always been that way.

Well, I’m again shaking in my boots but I know me. I know how my creative mind works. I know it’s giving me warning that resistance is futile because we will be opening that file.

Conquer or be conquered. 

I know which role I prefer.

 

IWSG: SPARE WHAT??

There is no such thing as spare time in my life. It's probably the same for many writers. I have to make the time to do what I want including time for my writing.

I've been trying to figure out a writing schedule that takes into account my work schedule, family needs, and down time I need to be healthy. Burning the candle at both ends is not an option in my life any longer--yeah, I have that last part firmly in mind now and it was a hard lesson for me to learn.

To successfully write a 90k book I know I need a good writing schedule and a word count goal. 

I already know that for me to get any writing done I have to set a weekly writing goal. When I'm in a groove the words just flow and sometimes I blow right by that goal. But, when I'm not in a groove it takes work and the goal helps me stay on track.

Early morning is my best writing time. It's quiet and I'm fresh in mind--after a cup of coffee and some fresh early morning air. That means for me to meet my goals I have to come to the computer ready to work. No internet at all. I open the word document and work a solid couple of hours. 

All of this good. Five gold stars for figuring out what works the best for a writing schedule. But, then comes the juggling of everything else I need to do, sigh...

I also have to figure out time to read and comment on my blog list, answer important emails, and a daily check of my work site for emails and work related tasks. I have a daily work schedule as well and like many there is the family and house/ranch stuff that also needs scheduling. Darn it, some of my gold stars are disappearing.



I'm experimenting with my morning schedule. Trying to get up a little

earlier. Maybe scheduling Tuesday and Thursday for my morning writing and then starting work by 11. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I have blog guests. Some how I have to figure out a way to write, then check in and read/comment on part of my blog list, deal with my work site issues, and anything else and go to work. Sometimes I can keep a window open to comment on my bloglist in between work calls but forget it on busy days. If I go straight to the bloglist, there goes my writing for the morning. Nights rarely work out for creative writing because I'm either too tired or I'm working the phones until 9:00. I can do about anything non-fiction after 9 and I do visit some blogs but, creative just doesn't do well.

I'm leaning toward maybe making M,W, F an hour of morning writing and two hours on each Tuesday and Thursday. That would give me time to blog and then go to work. All I know is that so far I'm not doing well on juggling writing time and blogging time and that bothers me and is discouraging. Nothing is worse than having a story I want to write and not being able to do it justice with quality writing time. 



Don't know what the answer is yet but I'm still working on it. 

Anyone got some cheese to go with my whine?  

REACHING FOR THE BRASS RING—IWSG WEDNESDAY

There are about 300 members of Insecure Writers' Support Group, the idea of Alex Cavanaugh.  If you want to read any of their entries do check it out here. Co-hosts this month are Nancy Thompson, Mark Koopmans, and Heather Gardiner.

Brass Ring:  n slang An opportunity to achieve wealth or success; a prize or reward

Several friends and I were having a discussion. It's something that has been on my mind a lot lately. The gist of it was how we want to be published. Most want a traditional publisher, for various reasons.  We devote years of effort learning about the craft of writing. We suffer rejection after rejection and still we strive for publication. We keep abreast of the current market and want to write books that not only sell, but those we can see on the shelf of our local Barnes & Noble or Books-A-Million. Hell, Wal-Mart would be great. A form of validation? Maybe. But, all that effort expended reaching for the brass ring.

I have quite a few friends who have gotten contracts. Champagne corks popped, confetti thrown, resounding cheers echoed. Then reality sets in. The day-to-day work of a writer and living up to contract. Fighting to meet deadlines, edits, having to rewrite sections, and sometimes the tough job of consistently meeting the standards of a publisher and perhaps a picky acquiring editor. Then there is writing through the dam that holds back the words, on occasion, and juggling real life and writing fiction. It’s not a job for the faint of heart, that’s for sure.

Whether we create music, piece of art, or write a book, it all comes from our soul. It’s not like doing a report, or putting together a seminar, or creating a syllabus for the year, building a house from specs or rebuilding an engine. That takes talent, skill, and knowledge, yes. Creative works require the same but they also entail taking a flash of an idea, inspiration, inner vision, and giving it life. I think most creative endeavors are fraught with all sorts of insecurities. Are we good enough, can we continue to put out quality? If we do well with the first book will we do as well with the second? I have friends that have hit the bestseller’s list; more power to them, yet with each book there is still the worry, is it good enough? They haunt Amazon and Goodreads watching the reviews come in.

In this business, you can be golden with one book and the next out in the cold. Really, that’s true whether you have a traditional publisher (small or large), or are self-published. Readers love what they love and that may not be every book you write. Reviews are tough when they’re not at least 4 stars, or a reviewer shreds or snarks your work and then tweets about it. It hurts. It can be depressing. 

Sometimes, listening to friends talk about the good bad and ugly of the business is enough to make me wonder if that brass ring is worth reaching for.

The truth is, anything we want to make money from is a business. As writers I think we forget that. 

If you’re published with a traditional publisher that is their bottom line—the profit. It determines whether they want to take a chance on you or your story. Story might be good but can it sell enough to offset production and publicity costs? It is a determining factor on whether you’re offered another contract or released from the existing one. If you’re self-published it’s still a business of profit. Cost of an editor, cover work, uploading, ISBN numbers, the time involved in promotion, and sending out copies for reviews. While you might get 70% of the cover price in profit, does it offset the cost of producing it?

Reaching for that brass ring. Is it worth it? Only you, as a writer, can answer that.