MONDAY MUSINGS: THE BANE OF MODERN LIFE

I’ve never been one for resolutions perse, but I do take stock of where I’ve been and where I want to go or things I want to try. I think that’s a natural progression when a new year rolls around.

Many have had to face some nasty stressors this past year and I believe stress is the bane of modern life. One we don’t always consider or learn effective ways to handle. We see the effects on our bodies but healing is more than taking a pill to treat the symptoms and moving on.  It’s a matter of recognizing the underlying causes and finding effective ways to diffuse stress in our lives.

As I take stock this year I realize there was more stress than my mind and body could handle. Stress affects the body more than we realize. Cause and effect isn’t always immediate.

It’s kind of like fighting a battle. You face your opponent(s) and your goal is to keep on your feet and moving forward with as little damage as possible. Survival.

Part of your mind is analyzing body language, moves and counter moves, both yours and theirs. Adrenaline is rushing through your body. You’re aware of body hits but you don’t always feel the full effects until it’s all over.  Once you’re in a safe place and the excess adrenaline slowly abates you become aware of the immediate injuries. There is a certain feeling of euphoria that you’re okay and survived and as that feeling fades away, you become conscious still other injuries.

It’s not just the physical wounds that have to heal. Your mind needs to process and heal as well and that takes time—especially if you’ve had to face a series of battles or traumatic events—with little time in between to recuperate or heal.

It’s important to recognize stress reactions and how to find tools to counter the stress.

The most common stress reactions include:

Slowness of thought Difficulty prioritizing tasks Difficulty initiating routine tasks Preoccupation w/minor issues and familiar tasks

Indecision and lack of concentration Loss of initiative with fatigue Exhaustion

Some tips to help with stress:

 

·        Be Thankful: Keep a gratitude journal. Make a list of all the things and people you’re grateful for. Create a Happiness jar or box. Each day, on a piece of paper, take a moment to write about a good thing that happened. Even the worse days have a good moment. Drop the note in the box or jar. At times of stress take a moment to pull out a ‘memory’ and read it.

 

·        Enjoy the Weather: Sunshine and fresh air is good for you whatever the season. In the winter dark days tend to add to stress. Take advantage of sunshine and stand in the sun and let it warm you. If you work, take your break outside. Even when there isn’t sunshine and it’s cold, still take a few moments to stand outside and breathe in deeply. Focus on what’s going on around you. Does the sun or breeze feel nice? Is it snowing? Raining? How does it smell? What wildlife is there—even cities have birds and squirrels and both fun to watch.

·      

  Find Peace: Modify your environment with music. Meditate, use deep breathing—pull in cleansing breaths and exhale the crap of the day. Pay attention to how your body feels when you do deep breaths. Learn mindfulness skills. Take a walk either solo or with a pet.

·        Practice Positive Thinking: Smile and be able to laugh at yourself. Practice positive self talk or use a journal for positive self talk.

·        Have a Plan: There are some stressors you can’t avoid but you can have a plan on positive ways to handle those stressors. Plan time for yourself and adjust that to your day. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time when you’re working. It’s amazing what 15 minutes spent on nurturing you can do. In the morning or evening give yourself time to do what relaxes you, reading, music, gardening, talking to a friend or just sitting outside in the quiet. Make a plan to get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation is your enemy and it amplifies the effects of stress.

Stress is an unavoidable part of life, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore it. Too much stress can take a toll on your physical and psychological wellness. Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

Happy New Year! I hope yours will be healthy, productive and satisfying.

A WRITER'S THANKSGIVING LIST

It's my pleasure to have romance author, Amanda Forester, again visiting with us Over Coffee. I like her list. :-)

Thank you for inviting me today!  November is a great month for thanksgiving so I thought I'd share (in no particular order of importance) my Writer's Thanksgiving List!

1.      Writers groups.  I am grateful for Romance Writers of America and my local writers groups.  When I started writing, I knew nothing about writing a novel and the business of publishing so I had a steep learning curve.  Through the monthly magazine, online groups, and conferences I have learned a lot!

2.      A good chair.  Never underestimate the importance of a good ergonomic chair if your tushy is going to spend hours sitting in it - your back will thank you!  A close second is my split ergonomic keyboard. 

3.      Scrivener. I have enjoyed the Scrivener writing program which allows me to easily

Miles, author stress reliever

rearrange scenes as I go and has sections for character descriptions and even a section for research, which is so important for historical authors.

4.      Editorial.  It is still amazing to me that I can send in a manuscript that I think is near perfect and then go several rounds of edits followed by a sea of red ink copy edits.  My editor, Deb Werksman, and the editorial team at Sourcebooks make me look good!
5.      Barbara!  My agent, Barbara Poelle, takes care of details before I even understand them, has an inflated sense of my worth, and is a huge cheerleader!

6.      Chocolate.  What writer doesn't run on chocolate? Around this time of year I'm a sucker for chocolate peppermint bark and the classic chocolate orange.

7.      Miles the Cat.  When I get stuck or frustrated with a story, my extra large Persian says, "don't worry, pet me!"

 

Crazy Daisy, author editorial assistant (those plot points
weren't really necessary to the story).

  8.  Whiteboard.  When I get stuck I break out the colored whiteboard pens.  My storyboard may end up looking like a preschool project, but it works for me.

  9.  Crazy Daisy and the kidlets.  I would get stuck writing all day until my head hit the keyboard if my crazy puppy and equally rambunctious children didn't drag me out to play.

  10. My loving husband. My hubby is not only the inspiration for romance, but also tells me those four magic words, "I'll do the dishes."  Thanks honey!

So what are you thankful for?  Comment for a chance to win a copy of Midsummer Bride!

Thanks so much for inviting me.  I hope a little Midsummer Bride will warm your hearts this holiday season!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

I'm thrilled to share my latest release, Midsummer Bride, Regency Marriage Mart series

One Unconventional American Heiress Can Be Even Wilder Than the Highlands...

Miss Harriet Burton, a horrendously rich American heiress, laughs too loud, states her opinion directly, and even conducts science experiments. Her aristocratic grandfather is desperate to get her respectably wed and is offering a king's ransom to anyone able to arrange a suitable marriage that comes with a title. In contrast, Harriet is interested in science and avoiding matrimony – until she meets Duncan Maclachlan, Earl of Thornton. 

Thornton has sworn to never marry for money, but is drawn to the irrepressible Harriet. What begins as friendship, and a desire to prevent his castle from being destroyed by some chemistry experiments gone wrong, sparks into a reaction that threatens to consume them both.

EXCERPT

BUY:  Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Chapters | Powells

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

I love to hear from readers so come visit me at my website, facebook, or twitter.

Amanda Forester holds a PhD in psychology and worked for many years in academia before discovering that writing historical romance was decidedly more fun. Whether in the rugged Highlands of medieval Scotland or the decadent ballrooms of Regency England, her novels offer fast-paced adventures filled with wit, intrigue, and romance.

Being Thankful

~Sia McKye~

~Life doesn't come tied with a bow, but it's still a gift~

It’s that time of the year when we gather together as family and friends and give thanks for the blessings we have in our life. For some, that’s what this meal means and for others it’s a time when most are off work and a perfect time for family and friends to gather.

It’s the start of the winter holidays and one of the biggest shopping days of the year is the day after Thanksgiving. A ritual in some families I know. The men sit around and watch football and the women march off to the stores like Betty Rubble and Wilma Flintstone, yelling Charge!

It’s called Black Friday and the time of year merchants are enticing shoppers to the stores to begin the Christmas holiday shopping. Merchants look at it as a way of getting out of the red and show a profit for the quarter. Doesn’t always happen but they certainly want a ‘black’ Friday and profit. Retailers throughout the country heavily promote sales. Stores are often decorated for the Christmas season weeks beforehand and retailers open very early to offer door buster deals, loss leaders and other incentives to draw people to their shops. To them, Black Friday is a blessing.

Those that work Black Friday find it’s a time when insanity reigns. Long work day and hordes of rude people swarming to get to the sales items before someone else grabs it, even if it means trampling over whoever is in front of you ( as we’ve seen in the headlines the past few years). Store employees, while exhausted at the end of the day, count it a blessing they have a job, when so many don’t.

For those who love to shop, while chaotic, love the challenge and finding the deals. Many have lists and have faithfully studied the Ads and know just where they’re going and what they’re getting. They come home tired but happy they’ve gotten the main part of their holiday shopping done and saved money. For them that is a blessing.

Is this season merely commercial? Are possessions and getting more the only part of this season?

Traditionally, in many of the early colonies in the United States, it was a time to give thanks to God for the plentiful harvest that would take the settlers through the winter. It was sharing the abundance of that harvest in a community meal. You might say it was one of the first ‘potluck’ dinners held on these shores. Everyone brought something to contribute to the feast. Understandably, it began as a religious holiday, although today it’s lost most of the religious aspects and become a secular holiday. It wasn’t until 1941 it became a Federal holiday.

Early times in this country were rough and survival was a blessing. If there was a bad harvest, it meant winter rationing of the food and worse case scenario was starvation. There were no stores or markets to save the day because the few in existence depended upon the harvest as well. But the land was rich, game plentiful. The settlers learned to farm those things that would grow well here. European methods didn’t always work, nor did the usual fare they were used to growing. They learned from the Native Americans how to grow corn, squash, and many newer vegetables. The first feasts didn’t have huge golden turkeys, candied yams, fluffy dinner rolls, mashed potatoes and gravy, or cranberries and pumpkin pie. Instead the first feasts included: duck, geese, some wild turkey, venison, fish, lobster, clams, swan, berries, dried fruit, pumpkin, squash, and many vegetables. Flour was almost non-existent, but they did have cornmeal. They also had little or no sugar, but there was wild honey, fruits and other sweet produce.

The feast was designed to draw families and the community together by sharing what they had in a community meal. They had many losses: of life, livestock, homes, and livelihood. But they gave thanks for those that did survive and the things they did have. They shared laughter and love to overcome the tragedies.

Today, for many families, this is a time to be thankful for food on the table, family around them. It’s a time of renewing family bonds, remembering those who have passed, rejoicing over the new ones born. Breaking bread together is one of the oldest rituals practiced by people.

Our family dinner is usually potluck and we coordinate with everyone on the menu and everyone brings something. The host or hostess, cooks the turkey and ham. With such a large group and the weather usually good, we tend to set up the food in Mama's garage on serving tables and carry it outside to eat at tables set up outside on the lawn.

I’m thankful for having my family and good friends around me. Coming together helps to overcome the year’s tragedies: loss of life, loss of livelihood, and some tough economic times. This year will be rough on my family, as we’ve lost our younger brother and my mother, her son. I'm thankful for the time we had with him. Good times. We come together to remind ourselves we are alive and we do have plenty to share. It’s a time to laugh over tales of the past and present, to lift a glass to those no longer with us, and share the ‘do you remember when…’?

At the core, we’re still a family. We have new ones coming in, either by marriage, or birth. We have plenty of love to go around. We focus on what we have, what remains, not on who or what we don’t have. Looking at the positives. My mother always told us that contentment comes from being thankful for what we have. Being thankful for the people we have in our lives. "Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need." She says, and I believe her, this is how we find happiness. Contentment with what we have and family and friends to share it with. When I look at it that way, I realize there is so much in my life for which to be thankful.

• What are your blessings? What are you thankful for this year?