Last week, as I was reading other blogs, one blogger mentioned things they that pull them out of a story. I have several favorite writers and one just released a book. These are auto buy books for me and her quality and storytelling abilities are well developed. Her characters are intense, and they’re enhanced warriors with a special skill set. Women are just as deadly as the men. Great, I love that, and overall it’s an excellent kick ass story. Still, there were certain scenes that there was too much intrusion of inner dialog.
For example, we come to the first love scene. I don’t know about others but I don’t do much thinking when having sex. My focus is on my partner and mutual pleasure.
The guy strokes her leg, watches her eyes change, her reactions to his touch, I can see it I’m connected to both, and then…he goes off into a paragraph or two of thinking and planning how he’s going to have to handle her fears?
Wait a minute, what happened to the lovemaking while all this thinking is happening? Are we on hold? It sure feels like it and bam, there goes my connection to the scene.
Then it’s the woman’s turn and with all the inner dialog onfailures and worries. The whole scene is a series of stops and starts. While I understand there is some thoughts that are needed to make the love scene solid, rule of thumb is there should be action and emotional reaction in romance, but it shouldn’t stop the scene with paragraphs and a laundry list of unneeded angst or worries and plans for the next battle. And not every other paragraph in every love scene which spans ten plus pages. And bopping back and forth between her and then him thinking?
Was it good for you Baby? Um, no. Arranging my sock drawer is looking better and better.
Reminds me of a song by Toby Keith about a little less talk (thought) and lot more action.
And I’ll be honest, I don’t always read the full love scenes, especially when they’re…rather graphic. I tend to skim them, okay, they’re making love, I got it. I don’t need every single breath, move, sigh, and groan. But with her stories you can’t skim as much because she drops some important bits of information. She doesn’t do it in her other action scenes—they’re tight and flow smooth as silk.
Maybe it’s just me but it’s irritating to the max. I wanted to throw the book across the room. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a few other authors doing this sort of thing lately. Sigh.
Here in the McKye world, the weather has been so mild it’s got me thinking about gardening and planning out the growing world for the McKye ranch. Of course, it’s much too early to implement but the ‘want to’ is there. <grin> A lot of prep work is still needed. And speaking of prep work I’ve been also been working on my manuscript.
Like with the gardening, there is a lot of prep-work needed. I have a very basic outline and I wrote several chapters to give me the feel of the characters. The world I’m creating is going to need some research to get it right. This project is also outside my usual genre. This one started out as a writing challenge. I already know this one will stretch me as a writer but I like the premise a lot. There are some weapons and their uses I need to be more familiar with to incorporate into the story and decisions on the clothing. It’s set, initially, in our world but there is a portal to another world that has moved one a different timeline, so I'm thinking there will probably need have some differences.
When you think different clothes then you have to think about materials that fit in the other world. And foods. What do they eat? What kinds of animals inhabit this world? It's earth, but not quite. It's fun to contemplate. I really like the main character and I'm still developing her sidekick. I know what he is and what he can do, mostly, because I know his parents and their purpose (that was in part of the character chapters I wrote) but now he needs to develop his unique personality and bridge to the main character. It's been a challenge but a fun one. So far.
How’s life in your corner of the world today? Any thoughts on too much inner dialog when you’re writing or reading?