Monday, March 10, 2014

MONDAY'S MUSINGS—RAGING AGAINST THE DYING LIGHT


Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.

Y'know? I started out this life with 7 brothers. They were a rough and rowdy lot and I was far from a girly-girl so I fit right in. My brothers are adventurers, storytellers and poets, knights in white armor, and loving pains in the butt. We had a lot of good times. 

Last week I had four brothers left. As of Friday night, I had three.

Jonny, Steve, and Roland. Steve is still with us.
Danny is in a kilt left lower sidebar. 
I knew this death was coming. My oldest brother, Jonny Matt, and I discussed it at length. While I made my peace with its dark approach two years ago, knowing of and preparing for death is not quite the same as dealing with its arrival. The emotional aftermath of that last breath is still shreds the heart.

Last Sunday afternoon Jonny was rushed to the hospital. Instead of death being some inexact time in the future, I was now faced with the reality of days and hours.

As the sun disappeared and the storm clouds gathered so many memories, good and bad, crashed and burned on the landscape of my heart. How fitting, as night fell, were the cold winds that howled and moaned and threw frozen tears against my windows. As Dylan said, “Do not go gentle into that good night…rage, rage against the dying of the light…” And I did.

My brother's battle is done. He's at peace. I'm glad for his sake. 

It's a hard for me and for my family, to face the fact that from this time forward, life will continue without him being somewhere near listening to his music, cracking jokes, telling wild tales, or calling with another outstanding accomplishment of his son or granddaughter.

Lifting a glass to my brother Jonny and sending him on his way with the joy of the fiddle music he loved.


16 comments:

Natalie Aguirre said...

So very sorry for your loss, Sia. I lost my only sister and sibling to breast cancer six years ago, so I know how hard it is. I'm glad you still have family to support you through your difficult time.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

My truest, deepest, and sincerest condolences for the loss of your brother. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers <3

Rachel said...

May happy memories fill you with peace.

Karen Walker said...

Oh, Sia, I am so so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

~Sia McKye~ said...

Well said Sis! I want to thank everyone for their thoughts & prayers. My Brother Jonny will be missed. Gone but not forgotten. He's now is in a better place. Until we meet again My Brother Love always
Robbie Geer

https://www.facebook.com/robbie.geer?hc_location=timeline

Kat Sheridan said...

Sia, I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family as you walk this path.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sia, I'm sorry! Prayers for you and your family. Knowing it's coming doesn't make it any easier.

sherilynwinrose said...

There really is no way to prepare for the death of a loved one. May God hold you in the palm of his hand, that you might feel his warmth and draw strength from it.
Hugs

sherilynwinrose said...

There really is no way to prepare for the death of a loved one. May God hold you in the palm of his hand, that you might feel his warmth and draw strength from it.
Hugs

Mason Canyon said...

Sia, so sorry for your loss. Such a beautiful tribute to your brother. Sending prayers and hugs to you and your family.

cleemckenzie said...

This has to be the saddest of times, Sia. So sorry for the loss of your brother. . . of all those brothers who have left. My deepest sympathies go to you and your family.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Sia, I am so very sorry. Thoughts and prayers for your family.

~Sia McKye~ said...

Thank you all! I do appreciate the heartfelt thoughts and prayers. In this time of need those are things that are so needed to lift one up and to find the elusive feeling of peace.

This past week I've been dealing with all this and with my own feelings of grief. My visits to other blogs have been...difficult. I need a bit of time to adjust and deal.

My thanks to Kat who has graciously offered to handle the blog this week and to the friends who have contributed their time and help.

I appreciate my readers support with our upcoming guests, Rose Maybud on Wednesday and Olivia Cunning on Friday.

Again, thank you.

Jo said...

How very sad Sia, I am so sorry for your loss. How tragic to have lost so many brothers. I feel for you. I hope the memories will help sustain you and your family.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Oh Sia - I am so sorry .. just so difficult .. and I've always loved seeing Daniel's picture on your blog. I knew you had a large family, but hadn't realised you had 7 brothers ... that must have been so much fun growing up with them.

My thoughts to you and the family at this time ... Hilary

rosemaybud said...

Sia, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved brother. You're in my prayers and thoughts.