Tuesday, March 8, 2011

How to Keep Fit without Leaving the Flat

My guest is romance author, Talli Roland. She hails from London, UK. She can be a bit of a cheeky monkey—I got to say I love that about her!

Talli is also one of my favorite blogging buddies. As I've gotten to know her, it's easy to see this English beauty is as lovely inside as she is on the outside. I do love to see what she’s up to and her take on normal every day things. Talli has a way of making me laugh and those are special people for me. Her sense of humor is fun and bit tongue in cheek, as you’ll see with her article below.


As a full-time writer, I’m lucky that I don’t need to go out to work – or brush my hair, get dressed, and endure getting up close and personal with someone’s armpit on the Tube. No, I can roll right out of bed, throw on my fluffy slippers and robe, and head straight to my desk for another day within the heady proximity of the fridge. The only downside to this Nirvana? The threat of an ever-expanding butt.

To combat this, I’ve developed a handy set of exercises for writers. No need to embrace the great outdoors – or even get off your chair! Now, you too can have the svelte frame of a commuter, without the commute! Are you ready? Here we go!

The five-fingered salute. Every so often, lift your fingers from the keyboard and make a fist. Open and close your digits several times in quick succession. This is even better when performed near a window in proximity of passers-by to encourage social interaction.

March like you mean it. The ideal exercise to release any frustration when your characters just don’t behave. Sitting on a chair, lift one knee in the air and bring your foot down firmly on the ground, then do the same with your other knee. Repeat for five minutes – or as long as your downstairs neighbours will allow. When you’re finished, you won’t care anymore about your characters’ misdemeanors. You’ll only care about impending repairs needed to the floorboards.

The burning butt-clench. Designed to encourage circulation after long periods of sitting, this exercise has the added benefit of making anyone around you question your need for the loo. Sitting comfortably, lift one buttock off the chair, and clench the cheek that’s touching the surface. Hold for twenty seconds, then repeat with the other butt cheek. You should feel a burning desire never to do this exercise again.

The navel gaze. Tilt your head slowly downwards until your chin touches your chest. Hold for thirty minutes – or until you drift off. This position allows observers to believe you’re engaged in deep thought, while elongating your neck muscles. Repeat until observers get bored and depart.

So there you have it! My tried and true methods to maintaining your shape while keeping your manuscript moving ahead!

The Hating Game

When man-eater Mattie Johns agrees to star on a dating game show to save her ailing recruitment business, she's confident she'll sail through to the end without letting down the perma-guard she's perfected from years of her love 'em and leave 'em dating strategy.

After all, what can go wrong with dating a few losers and hanging out long enough to pick up a juicy £200,000 prize? Plenty, Mattie discovers, when it's revealed that the contestants are four of her very unhappy exes.
Can Mattie confront her past to get the prize money she so desperately needs, or will her exes finally wreak their long-awaited revenge? And what about the ambitious TV producer whose career depends on stopping her from making it to the end.

Who will win The Hating Game? Excerpt

Talli lives in London, UK, where she savours the great cultural life (shopping and cupcakes).

When not hunched over the keyboard or staring out the window, she drinks coffee.

Talli Roland’s debut novel The Hating Game is available in paperback today (it's selling fast), and is also available as an e-book. The Hating Game is her first novel.
You can find Talli at her blog, and follow her on Twitter. She can also be found Facebook and Goodreads.


~Sia McKye~ said...

Talli, welcome to Over Coffee. I'm so glad you're visiting and I've heard so much about your book. I can't wait to read it. I had to order it for kindle--no biggie--because I couldn't get the paperback yet.

There are plenty of goodies on my coffee bar. I've heard it said it's as good as grabbing a cuppa at Starbucks and amazingly, cost much less, in fact it's free. Not sure about that but I do love Starbucks coffee! There is always all manner of chocolate here.

Talli Roland said...

Hi Sia! Thank you so much for hosting me on your blog - great coffee, by the way!

I hope you enjoy my book. There is certainly plenty of tongue in cheek humour.

I'd be interested in seeing if my exercises work for anyone else. I'm still not noticing any results...! :)

aries18 said...

I'm enrolling in your exercise regime right away! I'll keep you apraised of my progress. I'm also adding your novel to my TBR list. I just got a Kindle so I've been adding content as often as I can afford.

Your humor sounds right up my alley.

Congrats on your first book and may you go on to publish many more.

Nas Dean said...

I loved the exercise tips! Especially where you can pretend to interact passers-by.

Congratulations and all the best with the print release of THE HATING GAME, Talli!

Talli Roland said...

Wanda, thank you so much! I wish you great success with the exercises, and I hope you enjoy my novel!

Nas, thank you! :)

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Sia .. and Talli .. great interview - innovative thoughts .. don't we all need exercises .. love the fist clenching interaction with the outsiders!!

Great I must put an order in for the book - now I can buy it - as I have no Kindle.

Cheers to you both .. have great days and many more book sales .. Hilary

D.J. Kikrby said...

Hilarious as ever! Happy P day. Looking forward to novel number 2 already.

Deniz Bevan said...

Congratulations on your release day, Talli! These exercises sound like stuff even I - whose never set foot over a gym threshold - could do [g] In fact, I already do that fist thing!

Tonya Kappes said...

Hahaa! I just spit my coffee on my screen! Talli, you are a hoot! And my kind of author. I'm going now to get The Hating Game on my Kindle! Thank God, I don't live in an apartment to bother anyone with my stomps!

Elizabeth Loupas said...

I am on board! I love your office-chair exercises, Talli, particularly with your hilarious descriptions. I wonder if it will scare the dogs.

Good luck with THE HATING GAME. It sounds juicy!

Talli Roland said...

Hilary, DJ and Deniz - thanks for stopping by! :)

Tanya - Don't waste the coffee spitting! Swallow! Swallow! I do hope you enjoy The Hating Game!

Elizabeth - I suggest you enagage the dogs in exercises of their own. Maybe... tail wagging?

Michael Di Gesu said...


Great advice, Tally. Your neighbor downstairs and the street gawkers must love you.... are you the talk of the town? LOL

Have a super day.

Susan Fields said...

This made me laugh out loud! It's good to keep those observers questioning your need for the loo. :)

Clarissa Draper said...

I do those exact exercises! Funny post. By the way, everyone, if you haven't read the book yet, go buy it!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You're funny, Talli!

~Sia McKye~ said...

I have to say, Talli, your exercise program is a novel idea. Are you sure it's a five finger thing?

Hilary, you can always order it for your computer. It's called Kindle whispernet for the computer.

Tanya, I didn't actually spew on the monitor but I did choke and cough in between chuckles.

Laura Marcella said...

Lolol, thanks for these tips, Talli! We should all be ready for bathing suit season in no time at all! ;)

~Sia McKye~ said...

Elizabeth, the dogs think your playing a game and the cats think you're nuts.

Interact with passersby? here, that would be non human variety. Of course my teen son came in as I was trying the butt clench. Then he had to read the article and laughed. He also thinks you're gorgeous Talli, lol! Um, he actually said *hot*.

LR said...

Very funny! I love the butt clench. Going to try it out right now. :)

Talli Roland said...

Sorry not to drop in again until now! I've just got into my flat after being locked out for three hours. I went out to buy some cupcakes (seriously!) and returned to find the deadbolt on our door had malfunctioned. Divine cupcake retribution. Anyway - I'm in now thanks the wonder that is our locksmith!

Thank you so much, everyone, for dropping by! And thanks again to Sia for having me here (please thank you son for calling me 'hot'! Hehe!)

Kath said...

Thanks for posting these. Very timely. G wants to send me off to a Fit Camp, but hopefully I can stave him off by doing these every day... or every other day, as a start. I think I have navel-gazing sussed already. ;-) Happy P-Day, Talli!

Regina said...

Love all the techniques. I have just tried every one of them. :) Great post. Talli rocks. Such a wonderful person! Thanks for the post.

Talli said...

Kath - fit camp? What? Yes, navel-gaze indeed. I'll send a red velvet your way - none for G!

Regina - thank you so much! I'm glad you've tried the techniques.

~Sia McKye~ said...

I'm back home. didn't get locked out and even if I did, I have a very agile 16 year old to climb in a window--the only one you can climb in, lol!

Poor you Talli. Sheesh.

Kath, I tried that Navel thing and fell asleep, lol!

So, I'm sitting here enjoying a slice of red velvet cake with scrumptious frosting (I couldn't wait until later, it was calling my name--very eerie) and drinking a great cup of coffee. I'm laughing as I read the comments. Talli, you have some great followers and friends, my dear.

Talli, when's your next book out?

Jo said...

As one Limey to another, congrats on the book. Keep up the good work.

What's with you girls getting locked out?

No red velvet for me, but I'll take a piece of carrot cake please.

SueO said...

Ha! Talli, as creative as ever! I guess you need to find a creative place to hide a spare key!

Congrats on the release!

Nancy J. Parra said...

Hi Sia, Hi Talli!

Sorry it took me so long to get by and comment. I love these exercises. Really smart- like your book.
Sia, thanks for hosting yet another fabulous author.
(no cake for me unless it's gluten free.)

Jenyfer Matthews said...

I love your exercise suggestions - but I think I'd hate to be your downstairs neighbor! :)

~Sia McKye~ said...

Me too, Jenyfer. Hey you still state-side or were you able to go back with hubs?

Jo, I've only gotten locked out of my house here, once.lolol!

Love carrot cake, spice cake, Red Velvet, and of course rich dark chocolate. But I can only eat a bit now and then. I have a mild form of Celiac, Nan, Just enough to allow me to indulge once in awhile if I've been good Sigh...Let me mention, I love sour dough French bread but omg, literally within 10 minutes of a bite hitting my stomach it turns on a major 3 alarm fire, yikes.

Actually, I can probably indulge more because in everyday life I rarely ingest wheat or wheat gluten. Everything is cooked from scratch. Hard lessons learned long ago.

L'Aussie said...

These exercises were too funny.


Talli said...

Hi Sia and everyone, thank you so much! It's morning here now and hopefully I won't get locked out today! :)

My next book is due out in November, although the ebook will probably be released a few months beforehand. Thanks for asking!

It's been wonderful being here. What a great group of followers you've got, Sia!

Jo said...

I'm not supposed to eat those cakes either, diabetes. Such are the trials of life.

Jenyfer Matthews said...

Sia - my husband is back at work in Egypt and I am still in the US with the children, and will be for the the near future...