My guest is Erotica Romance author, Tymber Dalton aka Lesli Richardson. Tymber/Lesli write various types of Erotica, Romance, and, as she says, "other things".
While I've read some Erotica and even critiqued it, there are some forms I've never read and probably never will. Yet, it's an increasingly popular and lucrative genre.
Tymber explains her fascination with certain aspects of Erotica. Why people make the choices they do and how she does her research to make her characters and stories realistic.
When I’m asked what I do and say, “I’m a writer,” I usually get an eyebrows-lifted, wide-eyed, “Oh, really? What do you write?”
Well, frankly, how do I answer that? If I know a little about the person and suspect they won’t be totally freaked out and edge away from me like I’m a rabid raccoon, I’m honest and I say, “Romance, erotica, and some other things.”
Sometimes that response will earn me a semi-confused expression and an, “Oh.”
A lot of the time, however I’ll get an, “Oh! Really? Like what other things?”
It’s not that I’m not proud of what I write, because I am. I’m just smart enough to know not everyone wants to read what I write about. The only reason the pen name Tymber Dalton came about was we weren’t sure if my husband’s employer would be…comfortable with him having a pervy writer wife and we decided to play it safe. By the time we realized no one gave a damn about what I write as long as it’s legal, I’d already been published under both Lesli Richardson and Tymber Dalton.
So back to the cocktail conversation of me trying to adapt my explanation of how I research the topics I write about. The truth of the matter is, I just sort of…fell into it.
It’s all my dogs’ fault. Get your minds out of the gutter. I’ll explain, keep reading.
I have six dogs. We used to be service dog puppy raisers. Watching my dogs is something I can sit back and do…forever. Forget shiny object distraction, I have fuzzy furry distraction. There is something fascinating to me about watching dogs interact, the pack hierarchy,the dynamics and interplay between them. Because when you have six dogs like we do, let’s be honest, you have a pack of dogs.
When I read my first BDSM story, it was more a M/s story about a Master and a pet, and I had that brain squeeze speechless reaction that watching the film “Secretary” gave me the first time I saw it.
I wanted to learn more about the dynamics. The more I learned, the more fascinated I became. Much like watching my dogs. To me, the sexy part of BDSM is the foundation of trust the players have to have with each other. To research, of course, I had to meet and talk with people in real life, go to play parties to watch and learn. I’ve met a great group of people, some of whom I’m lucky enough to call friends now.
My dogs trust that I will drop kibble into their bowls every day at approximately the same time. (Although my bulldog frequently tries to start the daily insurrection early if she’s not happy.) My dogs trust I will take care of them. They don’t question I’m “alpha” in the pack. I just am. Yeah, sometimes they act out, but that’s normal and natural.BDSM is a lot like that, when you’re dealing with the psychological aspects of it. I’ve met people in the lifestyle who are part-time players, and those who literally live a 24/7 Master/slave life. Most people don’t know what they do in private, of course, but I’ve seen a Master drop a slave into subspace just with a touch and a few words.
There is a trust and a bond that is beyond description. To me, that is far sexier than spankings or bondage or anything else.
That’s why when I write about BDSM, my primary focus is on the people, the interplay and dynamic, not so much the toys or the big “O” scenes. Although, yes, I do try to write sexy scenes as well.
My dogs know I am their owner, their protector, their Mom, their world. While I’m not trying to say a M/s or D/s relationship is that simple, because people can think and reason (usually *LOL*) at a much higher level than dogs, in some ways, it is that simple. The reason these people can turn themselves over to their partner is because of one basic and yet extremely powerful thing: trust.
In my latest release “Safe Harbor” (and it’s something I explored to a certain extent in “Love Slave for Two: Beginnings”) the main theme is trust. Lack of, earning, and total complete trust. Trust in yourself and in others. It’s a strong secondary theme in “The Reluctant Dom” as well. In my upcoming release “Cardinal’s Rule” (Captiva Press, early 2010) I explore what happens when that trust is shattered beyond repair and what happens next for the people involved.
I personally find the trust issue to be the sexiest thing, so that’s usually my focus. I like to explore the “real” side of BDSM. It’s not all I write, but you’ll see some common themes appear in my writings across various genres.
Life happens, and it adds the edge of humor and reality to a story that might otherwise be too intense or too…fake. In “Safe Harbor,” a miniature Yorkie likes to steal sex toys. (Okay, so my dogs partially inspired that one. We don’t have Acts of God in our house, we have Acts of Dog.) In “The Reluctant Dom” I wrote the scene where Leah wants to shave Seth in the shower before his first solo trip to the club with her and his less than enthusiastic—but extremely funny—reaction to that.
It’s real people, not cardboard stereotypes, which have the best stories to share. Personally want to read a story that isn’t sex scenes strung together, but a story about people I can invest myself in and see the reality of the world created by the author. That’s the kind of writing I strive to create, and I’m extremely grateful to my readers for their fantastic response to what I do.
Hey, it keeps my dogs in kibble, and I know that makes them happy.
Tymber Dalton lives in southwest Florida with her husband (aka "The World's Best Husband") and son. She loves her family, writing, coffee, dark chocolate, music, a good book, hockey, and her dogs (even when they try to drink her coffee and steal her chocolate).
When she's not dodging hurricanes or writing, she can be found doing line edits or reading or thinking up something else to write. She's a multi-published writer in several genres (and rumor has it she bears a striking resemblance to Lesli Richardson). She loves to hear from readers. Please feel free to drop by her website to keep abreast of the latest news, views, snarkage, free reads, and releases.