Monday, March 24, 2014

MONDAYS MUSINGS—THAT'S LIFE BABY

"I've been up and down and over and out...That's life, I tell you I can't deny it, I thought of quittin' baby, but my heart just ain't gonna buy it..."

Good news—it's spring!
I haven’t been around much in March for a number of reasons. I lost my brother and have been grieving and dealing with family things that come with that. Most of April is going to be shot as well. I’m very thankful to my co-host, Kat Sheridan, for handling the blog in March and she will be handling it in April as well. No A-Z for me. I doubt I’ll be around much the first part of the month. But Kat will be here. Do stop in and give her support. 
March 28th is an interview with USA and NYT bestselling author,Terry Spear, her research of wolves and jaguars and writing life.   

As some of you may know, the night after my brother, Jonny was admitted into ICU, I fell on the ice. My mind wasn't on my feet but miles away with my brother. I had a split second to react and tried to fall relaxed and do a tuck and roll. Didn't work—the roll, that is. I hit hard on my left shoulder and bounced and skid a few feet across the ice and gravel of our drive.  This isn't the first time I've been injured—I've led a very active outdoor life and it comes with the territory. I can honestly say I can’t remember the last time I felt the magnitude of pain that had me fighting a blackout. I knew not to move until the initial tsunami of pain eases enough to evaluate your body. That also means breathing, once you find your breath, and making your body relax. Easier said than done. 

First scan of my body: I couldn't feel my left arm but I could feel the volcano of pain in my shoulder, ye gads. Deep breath. Still didn't move, second scan, legs moved okay, right arm was fine, head was sore where I hit it, neck stiff but seemed fine. I carefully rolled on my right side and pushing left arm up to lie full length against my side. Hot July fireworks flashed, but it took the pressure off of the arm. Rested and relaxed a minute and then felt along the arm for any obvious problems. By now I could move the fingers, wrist, and forearm. The left shoulder, however, had a bulge and felt weird shaped. Yep, the bulge said I dislocated my shoulder. I massaged and then shoved it and the fact that my right elbow slipped on the ice adding the needed pressure was dumb luck. I felt it slide and saw a lovely rainbow of polka dots and fireworks dance across my vision.

It was dark, cold, and I was lying about 50 feet from the house, on ice. Even had I been inclined I didn't have the breath to yell. My husband had fallen asleep in his recliner (he wouldn't have heard me anyway) and my son wasn't home, which why I went outside to get my Dane. Fall had nothing to do with anything she did. My mind was elsewhere.

Getting up was a bear. When you’re in a situation like that you feel helpless and then you put it away and figure things out. Thirty minutes later I walked back into the house.

I went to the emergency room the next morning. Concussion (but I knew that already), but the x-rays showed no breaks. Lot of swelling, definitely blunt force trauma and bruising and they sent me home with a sling, orders don’t use the arm and make an appointment with your doctor for an MRI. And some serious pain pills. Yay! 

MRI showed a wrecked shoulder. Torn rotator cuff, tears in ligaments, cartilage damage, and fluid build up, floating debris, and a fracture. What does this mean?

Surgery. Absolutely no way around it. And rest. Lots of it.

My surgery is March 27th. I’m totally out of commission the first couple of weeks of April. I have about 6 months of physical therapy to regain use of the arm, but I will regain at least 90% usage. Without surgery it will heal, eventually, but the shoulder would be unstable and I’d lose 50% usage or more of my arm. Not acceptable.

Ah well, in the words of one of my dad's favorite songs, "I pick myself up and get back in the race..." That's Life. 




69 comments:

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Dear Sia - losing your brother was such sad news and I've been feeling for you .. but I hadn't realised your surgery was for a fall - now I see how serious that is - I sincerely hope that all goes well.

You must be so relieved you were able to get back into the house ... and not collapse there for hours ..

Good luck and my thoughts - while I hope the pain eases ... all the very best and we'll see you on your return ... Hilary

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Oh my gosh Sia! I had no idea about the fall. I must have missed that post :( I hope you heal quickly!

Karen Walker said...

Sia,
Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry for the loss of your brother. That fall sounds terrifying but you handled it so beautifully. Wishing you a good speedy recovery from your surgery. Take good care of yourself. And be gentle. Grieving takes a lot of energy.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That really sucks, but 90% is a far better option. Will be praying for a speedy recovery. And will miss you for those weeks!

Robin said...

Wow. Just goes to show how life turns on a dime. I hope that your surgery yields the best possible outcome. Hang in there.

Jo said...

I'm so sorry to hear this Sia and can imagine how you felt having done something similar. The loss of your brother doesn't help when you are trying to recover. I hope the surgery will fix things for you 90% is better than not having the use of your arm I just hope the pain will not be too bad during recovery. Wishing you all the best and will be thinking of you.

Mason Canyon said...

So sorry about your brother, Sia. Wishing you a speedy recovery from your surgery. Will miss ya, take care of yourself.

~Sia McKye~ said...

Hilary--it's hard loss and thank you. I was very relieved to get back into the house. I had to think, while I was lying there on the ice, what if you can't get up? I figured I could sit on my butt and do like the inch worm and get there. Glad I didn't have to, lol!

~Sia McKye~ said...

Kieth--I didn't actually post an article on it. I mentioned it on FB and in a few comments so you didn't miss it. Shoulder is definitely FUBAR. I learned the full deets on that just this past week.

Karen--so true. Grieving wears you down and with this stupid shoulder--it's not helping. I'll be resting a lot and working my way through it all. :-)

Alex--Aw, thanks Alex. Prayers are welcome. While you're praying do remember to include patience for Sia and for me to use a sound mind during this whole thing. I'm thrilled with the 90% and will be working hard for it. :-)

I will be checking in as I can. We have so many interesting articles for A-Z. I don't know how well I will be able to type comments tho. One step at a time, right?

~Sia McKye~ said...

Robin--it certainly does. Thank you.

Jo--my friends, who know I hate pills and unnecessary medication, have all been warning me NOT to be a hero. Not a chance. No awards for gritting your teeth through pain when they give you perfectly good pain meds to float you through the worse of it. I'm all for that, lol! Thank you.

Mason--Thank you. He's missed. I'm determined to be a good patient and follow orders so I do recover quickly. A lot I want to do this summer. :-)

Natalie Aguirre said...

So sorry, Sia. Hoping your surgery goes well.

Yolanda Renee said...

So sorry for your loss, my brother left us way too soon and the last several days I've been dreaming of him. Those visits are a blessing.

Do take care, such a horrible fall but you were in control and I admire your quick thinking. Good luck with your healing and physical therapy.

Prayers and best wishes sent your way!

Kat Sheridan said...

I've been talking with Sia, so she already knows I'm sending her prayers for peace, and for a safe surgery and a speedy recovery.

I'll be doing my best to step into her shoes for a few weeks and participate in the A-Z challenge on her behalf. I hope you'll all stop by and lend me a hand as I blog throughout the month of April and keep the blog up and running until Sia can grab the reins again with TWO good arms!

cleemckenzie said...

So sorry about your brother and your terrible fall. 2013 didn't treat you well and it was rotten to me, too, so my heart goes out to you. Here's to a much better 2014 for both of us.

Julie Flanders said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother, Sia. And also that you are dealing with the trauma of your fall and injury. I hope your surgery will go smoothly and your recovery will be as painless as possible. Take care.

Deanie Humphrys-Dunne said...

So sorry about the loss of your brother, as well as your accident. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Hope the Blitz Day cheers up your spirits a bit.

Crystal Collier said...

Sia--I'm wishing you a perfect surgery and speedy recovery. Oh hey, and here's some healing cheese to help get you through it.

Sending love along with the blitz!

GSMarlene said...

Very sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I can't begin to imagine the pain.

But I totally relate to what you went through after your fall. I train horses, usually Arabians that other people have given up on, and often I end up riding out on remote trails alone. Spooks are inevitable and I occasionally come off. That moment of self-evaluation, figuring out the chances of someone finding me vs getting back on the horse to ride back to the trailer - all close in my mind.

I hope you heal physically as quickly as possible. The rest will come as you are ready.

Mary Hill said...
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Masquerade Crew said...

Here's some blogger love for you during your time of sorrow. Glad you have the right outlook on things. That's the hardest part some times.

Sarah Ahiers said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. And then the fall on top of things and the surgery. I hope everything goes well today and you find yourself on the road to recovery.

Mark Means said...

So sorry about your loss and I hope you start feeling better, as well. :(

Sometimes, it seems like 'when it rains, it pours'. As cliche' as it sounds, it will get better and the sun will break through the clouds again.

Best wishes, good thoughts, and prayers to your and your family in this trying time.

L.G. Keltner said...

So sorry to hear about your brother and your torn shoulder. Hopefully a Happy Blitz Day will help brighten things for you!

Petre Pan said...

Whooof, that sounds rough.

Your description is fantastic--you're definitely a writer. I really hope this arm problem won't keep you too away from writing too much, because I know that's going to be hard for you.

Hey, keep your head up. Keep listening to good songs! And happy blitz day.

barbtaub.com said...

Dear Sia, In a recent interview, I was asked who my heroes are. Well, after reading this post, I can honestly say you're one of them. After your sad loss, nobody could have blamed you if you had just closed your eyes and given up when you were injured. Instead, I read "Thirty minutes later I walked back into the house." I suspect that you are among a minority of people who would have been able to achieve that.

I wish you a happy blitz day, good luck with the surgery, and hope for a quick recovery, as well as wish you the very best healing for the loss of your brother. And I thank you for the inspiration in your post.

L. R. Jensen said...

Sia- praying praying praying. For your healing and your heart.

Mark Koopmans said...

Aloha Sia,

I can't believe the news about your brother and I am so sorry for your loss. I know there are no words, but you and your family are in our family's prayers. May he rest in peace.


PS: As I write this, it is afternoon on the East Coast. I hope your surgery is done and you are resting.

You are so much stronger than I ever would after a fall like that (especially coming right after the loss of your brother.)

I know you will channel that strength and I can't wait to read the upcoming post about you throwing a football/baseball/anything :)

You've always been there to support me, so I know there's not much I *can* do, but if you (or Kat) needs help with a guest post, just let me know (and that weird Charlie's Scribes lot are available, too :)

Take care and God bless

((Sia))

Arlee Bird said...

Sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. Compounded with the unfortunate accident you had I can understand your being away for a while.

Get back into shape and we'll look forward to a better tomorrow.

Lee
A Faraway View
An A to Z Co-host blog

Ella said...

My thoughts and prayers to you~ I am so sorry to hear you are in physical and emotional pain~ I am sorry about your brother~ ((hugs)) I do hope you recover and know we are cheering for you! Sending you virtual flowers and sunshine~ YOU wrote the pain so well-I felt like I was there with you on the ice. I have had a few falls myself and one ended up in surgery-my back. Take Care!

Chrys Fey said...

I am so deeply sorry for your loss and for your injury. I am thinking of you during this tough time and praying for you to heal mind, body, and soul. Take care! And Happy Blitz Day! xoxo

messymimi said...

Please accept my condolences for your loss. It sounds like you've been through the wringer, and i hope you heal quickly from the surgery.

Rajlakshmi said...

My prayers for you and your family. I can understand how tough it could be to lose a dear one. I hope you get well soon and get back on life and show who's the boss. Take care.

cleemckenzie said...

Back to say hi again, but this time it's to Blitz you. Thanks for the Frank Sinatra song. This time I listened all the way through.

Trisha F said...

I'm here for the Blitz as well - so sorry to hear about your brother. And you describe your shoulder injury in excruciating detail. You poor thing. Here's a hug: *hug*

Anna Tan said...

Hi Sia,

My condolences over your loss. Praying that the surgery went well and that you'll have a speedy and restful recovery!

Hopefully this Blitz will cheer you up for a bit!
We'll miss you at A to Z.

anna @ Deeply Shallow
The Love in Penang giveaway is running now!

J. Lenni Dorner said...

I'm sorry for your loss, and for your injury. I hope the surgery and rehab goes well.

Hugs... very gentle ones!

And hopefully the blitz will cheer you up.

K. Nowinsky said...

So sorry :(
Hope you are feeling better soon!
Happy Blitz Day

D Biswas said...

Sorry to hear all that you've been going through. Hope things look up a little soon. Sending you prayers.

Donna Hole said...

What an ordeal - times 2. Poor dear.

I hope you heal soon.

......dhole

Elise Fallson said...

So sorry to hear about your brother and your accident, my heart goes out to you, Sia. Like you said, "That's life," but sometimes it sucks. I'll be thinking about you and sending positive and healing thoughts your way, and I hope everything goes well with your surgery and recovery. Take care!

Keith Channing said...

This has not been a good time for you, and you have my sympathy. I hope the surgery is/was successful and that you have a speedy recovery. In the meantime, happy Blitz day. A lot of people's thoughts are with you.

Suzanne Sapsed said...

Truly sorry for the loss of your brother xx Looking at the date, your op was scheduled for yesterday, hope it went well :)
Suzanne @Suzannes Tribe
xx

Angelica Boone said...

My thoughts are with you, and I hope the surgery went well.

Peter Nena said...
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drkillpatient01 said...

My sympathies, my prayers, my hopes. These I send you from my heart. Recover quickly, safely. Have a blessed BLITZ day.

Nicole Zoltack said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care of yourself!

Julia Phillips Smith said...

It must have felt so strange to be that close to your home and your husband, and be laying there like that -- I'm so glad you were able to marshall what was left of your strength and get inside. Good luck with your surgery and recovery, and very sad to hear about having to say farewell to your brother.

kmckendry said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother and your injury. I hope your surgery went well yesterday and that you heal as quickly as possible.

Nicki Elson said...

I hope this message finds you doing well after surgery and on your way to a solid and smooth recovery. You're obviously a tough lady, so I know you'll rise from these ashes stronger than ever. And your brother will be smiling down on you and rooting for you the whole way.

Suzanne Furness said...

My condolences to you Sia at this difficult time. Take time to heal emotionally and physically. Will be thinking about you.

dawnall said...

I'm sorry for your loss.
The ice has been a hazard this year. I hope your surgery goes well and you recovery quickly.
Happy Blitz Day!

#1Nana said...

I dropped by for the Blitz and explored further than the current post. I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. I realize that your had surgery yesterday and probably aren't reading all your comments, but I hope you have great pain meds and are healing nicely. Hang in there...spring is here and sunshiney days are not far off.

Cathy Olliffe-Webster said...

Aw Sia, so sorry for the loss of your brother and for your shoulder troubles. Hope the surgery went OK and you're feeling a bit better soon. oxox Oh, and happy blitz day! :)

Dee said...

I am so sorry for your loss and your accident. I really hope you'll feel better soon, both emotionally and physically.

#teamblitz

Marci Koski said...

Hi Sia - it sounds like March has been a very challenging month for you; my condolences for the loss of your brother, and your shoulder injury. I hope that you have a speedy recovery and that this Blitz Day will cheer you up a bit. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way! - marci from Fuzzy Undertones (marcilicious.com)

M Pax said...

Hugs to you, Sia. My sympathies about your brother. That's terrible. I hope your surgery goes well and you have a quick recovery. Sending you healing thoughts.

Jaimie Ramsey said...

Praying for peace, comfort, and complete healing--physically and otherwise--for you!

Happy Blitz Day!

Stephen Tremp said...

My condolences to your brother and family. I hope you heal fast. I've slipped on ice before and it can be very traumatic tot he body. I'm sending healing and comforting thoughts your way right now!

Katie Doyle said...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss and I hope your surgery went well.

Happy Blitz!

Melanie Schulz said...

So sorry to hear that Sia! I can't imagine how much pain you were in, or how scared you were. It speaks very highly of your ability to assess the situation that you were able to know what was wrong and what you needed to do. And at the same time you were losing your brother! There are no words, except that I am very, very sorry, and will be keeping you in my prayers.

april said...

I am stopping by for the blog blitz. I am extremely sorry for your loss. I hope your surgery went well and you recover quickly.

~Sia McKye~ said...

OMG, I did NOT expect all this! Y'all made me cry and I don't cry very often. You blew my mind away with all the encouragement and prayers.

My darling husband is typing this for me since my fingers don't work on the left hand.

surgery went well but a lot more damage than we first thought. Serious recuperation time and still a lot of pain--thank God for pain meds. But seeing all these comments made the pain in the heart the heart, much better.

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!

~Dan taking dictation from Sia~

Jeff Hargett said...

Sorry to hear that life has piled one struggle atop another on you. I wish I had words of magic that could reduce your pain--shoulder and heart both. I am, however, a firm believer that nothing coming our way can defeat us as long as we choose to be victorious over it. Of course, during the darkest and most difficult times, we must make that choice every single minute of the day.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your brother. It hurts. I know that all too well. I pray peace and healing find you soon.

Julie Jordan Scott said...

I'm so sorry to hear both about your brother and then about your injury as well. I lost my brother six years ago. I don't think people prepare us for what it is like to lose our siblings.

Know my love is going out to you, even though we haven't met before now. I'm a part of the blitz group... so glad to be here precisely this time.

Jessica Peterson said...

sounds like quite the fall, sending you healing thoughts on the road to your recovery :)

Ida Chiavaro said...

My condolences to you and brother's loved ones... I hope your surgery went well too - I'm a firm believer in emotional pain manifesting itself physically, I hope your road to recovery is an easy one.
Reflex Reactions

Kristin Smith said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. It is so hard to lose a loved one.

I hope your surgery went well and you are on your way to a speedy recovery. Hopefully these trials you are experiencing will be but a small moment.

Sending prayers and hugs on your Blitz day!

Carrie-Anne Foster said...

What a tragic week. I simply cannot fathom the pain, internal and external, that you must be going through.

My heart goes out to you. I hope for a quick recovery from your surgery. I also hope your grief will ease with time.

xoxo

Carrie-Anne Foster said...

What a tragic week. I simply cannot fathom the pain, internal and external, that you must be going through.

My heart goes out to you. I hope for a quick recovery from your surgery. I also hope your grief will ease with time.

xoxo