My guest is romance author, Talli Roland. She hails from London, UK. She can be a bit of a cheeky monkey—I got to say I love that about her!
Talli is also one of my favorite blogging buddies. As I've gotten to know her, it's easy to see this English beauty is as lovely inside as she is on the outside. I do love to see what she’s up to and her take on normal every day things. Talli has a way of making me laugh and those are special people for me. Her sense of humor is fun and bit tongue in cheek, as you’ll see with her article below.
As a full-time writer, I’m lucky that I don’t need to go out to work – or brush my hair, get dressed, and endure getting up close and personal with someone’s armpit on the Tube. No, I can roll right out of bed, throw on my fluffy slippers and robe, and head straight to my desk for another day within the heady proximity of the fridge. The only downside to this Nirvana? The threat of an ever-expanding butt.
To combat this, I’ve developed a handy set of exercises for writers. No need to embrace the great outdoors – or even get off your chair! Now, you too can have the svelte frame of a commuter, without the commute! Are you ready? Here we go!
The five-fingered salute. Every so often, lift your fingers from the keyboard and make a fist. Open and close your digits several times in quick succession. This is even better when performed near a window in proximity of passers-by to encourage social interaction.
March like you mean it. The ideal exercise to release any frustration when your characters just don’t behave. Sitting on a chair, lift one knee in the air and bring your foot down firmly on the ground, then do the same with your other knee. Repeat for five minutes – or as long as your downstairs neighbours will allow. When you’re finished, you won’t care anymore about your characters’ misdemeanors. You’ll only care about impending repairs needed to the floorboards.
The burning butt-clench. Designed to encourage circulation after long periods of sitting, this exercise has the added benefit of making anyone around you question your need for the loo. Sitting comfortably, lift one buttock off the chair, and clench the cheek that’s touching the surface. Hold for twenty seconds, then repeat with the other butt cheek. You should feel a burning desire never to do this exercise again.
The navel gaze. Tilt your head slowly downwards until your chin touches your chest. Hold for thirty minutes – or until you drift off. This position allows observers to believe you’re engaged in deep thought, while elongating your neck muscles. Repeat until observers get bored and depart.
So there you have it! My tried and true methods to maintaining your shape while keeping your manuscript moving ahead!
The Hating Game
When man-eater Mattie Johns agrees to star on a dating game show to save her ailing recruitment business, she's confident she'll sail through to the end without letting down the perma-guard she's perfected from years of her love 'em and leave 'em dating strategy.
After all, what can go wrong with dating a few losers and hanging out long enough to pick up a juicy £200,000 prize? Plenty, Mattie discovers, when it's revealed that the contestants are four of her very unhappy exes.
Can Mattie confront her past to get the prize money she so desperately needs, or will her exes finally wreak their long-awaited revenge? And what about the ambitious TV producer whose career depends on stopping her from making it to the end.
Who will win The Hating Game? Excerpt
When not hunched over the keyboard or staring out the window, she drinks coffee.
Talli Roland’s debut novel The Hating Game is available in paperback today (it's selling fast), and is also available as an e-book. The Hating Game is her first novel.
You can find Talli at her blog, and follow her on Twitter. She can also be found Facebook and Goodreads.